Jun 23, 2011

ramblings.

It was dark. The music was blaring, windows were down. He reached across the center counsel and held my hand. I could faintly hear him singing his heart out.
I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back with a wink.

We were 21 again,  heading out for a night of fun. No cares in the world. It was where it all started.

The feeling was right there. I’m not sure if it was the song, the sound of his voice over the music or that winking smile, (maybe all the above). When I went to look away, I caught a glimpse of a carseat in the back seat.

I was brought back to reality. It’s not just me and him anymore. As I sat and thought, I got this overwhelming feeling of happiness. This is my life.. Those are MY kids.

When I woke up the next morning, I looked at them differently, or rather.. they looked different. it was as if they grew over night. What happened to my babies? Adelyn is carrying conversations with me, telling me what she wants to eat, wear and watch. Showing ME how to do things. Dancing, actual dancing! Stone is crawling (ok ok… army crawling.. but it still counts.) He’s babbling. Eating baby food. Drinking from a cup. I was telling Craig a story yesterday, and Stone looked up at me with the biggest smile and just started chuckling. My eyes filled with tears, where did my little baby go?

Then today, I started scrolling through the 5000 (YES. no joke) pictures on my iPhone and could not believe the time capsule it was. I look at pictures of Stone at just a few days old, and it seems like yesterday, but I look down at an almost toddler. Did you know he’s about to be 7 months.
IMG_5994

I was rocking him today and whispered into his ear to stop. Please stop getting so big. Stay my little baby forever. Please. He just smiled up at me, thinking I was telling him a funny joke, not realizing how serious I really am.

I looked at pictures of Adelyn before she was a big sister, and felt nostalgic for the time it was just me and her. Some times I feel sad that she had me to herself for so long and now has to share me. Especially when she starts acting out for my attention.  But she loves being a big sister and loves her brother to pieces. When I look at her teaching Stone how to play with a new toy, that feeling of sadness starts to fade, a little.
IMG_5993
She asked me to lay with her tonight, which I did. SHE put HER arm around ME. SHE pulled ME close and snuggled right into me. SHE whispered “Love you, so much”. SHE caressed MY arm.
040

I am so lucky to have her in my life, to have both of them in my life. I am so blessed that God chose me to be there Mother.