What a difference a year makes.

OK… well maybe a little over a year.

It was right around the time Adelyn was about to turn 1.
I got baby fever, BAD!

And some how managed to convince Craig into trying for another.
It took 5 months. I remember the feeling each month when I realized I wasn’t pregnant.
It was heartbreaking.
I don’t know how women taking fertility treatments deal with that heartache.
My thoughts are always with those mothers,
as I am so grateful that, despite 5 months, I was able to conceive.

We were the perfect little family of 3.
We weren't rolling in the money, our apartment was small.
BUT
We were HAPPY.

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There were several trials of our relationship that first year Adelyn was here.
But, in the end it brought us closer.
We learned how to make our relationship work as parents and as lovers.

INSERT: New job, Second pregnancy and Second baby.
And that little happy family of three turned into a dysfunctional family of 4.

(ALSO INSERT PICTURE OF THE 4 OF US HERE)
(How sad is it that I don’t have a picture of the 4 of us together?!)

We havn’t quite got it down yet.
I know we never will. As nothing is perfect.

I havn’t learned how to split my time between both kids equally.
But I do my best, and that is ok.

I find myself letting Adelyn watch more television than I ever would have when it was just her.
And that’s ok too, sometimes Momma just needs some peace and quiet
to get the dishes done and dinner on the table.

Over the past year, Craig and I have forgot how to communicate effectively.
He works nights, so spending quality family time is spread thin.
Let a lone quality alone time.

Our relationship is drowning.

Not dead by any means.. but struggling to stay afloat.

I read an article recently stating that the divorce rate of night-shift workers is 60%
Totally not surprised!

We’ll make it work. That I am positive of.
Because when I think of my future, when I think of sitting on my back porch watching my children playing with there children, he’s there, sitting right next to me.
Marveling at the magic we created together.

I know in that moment..
when I look back, it will all be worth it, the heartache, the pain, the frustration.

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DISASTER!
173 tornadoes ripped through the States yesterday.
Total devastation.
Too close to home.
Please pray for these victims and there family.
Over 300 deaths.
Tragic.

photo
the kids were safe in the tub, I had the mattress ready to throw over them and lay on. so they didn’t fly away. HAH.


# kristanlynn
xoxo